Thursday, December 16, 2010

Creating A Safe Haven

Making Your Home a Place Your Kids want to Be

Parents sometimes do not realize how important it is that their home be a place their kids want to be. Most, if not all of the problems our children face can be solved in the home. The culture we are a part of, that we are bringing our children up in is a culture which hurts them. It does not teach them that they are good, worthy, valuable and important. This culture equates success, beauty and goodness only with external appearances and accomplishments. The effects on our children are showing up at earlier and earlier ages...eating disorders, addictive behaviors, etc

It is in our homes we can make the difference. It is impossible to change society, but it is possible to control how are children are affected by the world. Parents can do this in the home by creating a Safe Haven. Home is the place for nurturing and teaching. It is where parents have the power to prepare their children to feel good about themselves. If they leave home with confidence, they will be able to effectively handle whatever the world throws at them.

Three Components of the Safe Haven

Aura of peace and calm
No yelling
No crticizing
No demeaning
Positive Understanding/Caring Atmosphere

Place where ideas can be shared freely
*Children need to be allowed and encouraged to express their opinions without criticism
*Beliefs need to be discussed openly
*Parent need to be teachable. You can learn a lot from your child

Atmosphere of Love
*Unconditional love is always present
*Love needs to be expressed on a daily basis
*Parent attitude towards child exudes patience and understanding

Sounds wonderful, but impossible. It is possible. How do you do it? How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. You take this one step at a time.

1.Pick one item on the list of Safe Haven components
(If you finish the 3 Safe Haven Components listed above...congratulations! There are many more in the Safe Haven-Chapter 2-in ParentFix)
2.Work on it for an hour, a day, a week.
3.When you have that under control, pick another item on the list.
4.If you blow it, go back to the first item and start over.

Remember the parent is responsible for the atmosphere in the home.

You will be amazed at the changes that can occur within your home, just by taking the first step. The happiness in your children will keep you motivated to create a Safe Haven.