Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Relationships First

Isn't it interesting that we gain the most happiness in our lives through our relationships. Yet how often do we spend time learning how to improve those relationships. We usually just muddle through them and wonder why we can get so frustrated with the ones we love. It seems there are so many other things that demand our attention. Important things, like our jobs, our church responsibilities, preparing meals, cleaning the house, yardwork...the list goes on and on. Family relationships just get pushed to the side. It is time to put some effort into improving our relationships. This week, tell someone close to you why you appreciate them. Read a book that will give you new ideas on how to improve your life. Do an act of service for someone close to you, without them asking. Anyone have any other ideas? I would love to try them out on someone I love!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Mean Girls

I was talking with my book distributor about parenting. He asked me this question, "Do you think it is easier to raise girls or boys?" Without thinking, I immediately answered, "Why boys, of course." He nodded his head in agreement. He has 3 girls. Now let me explain my response, especially to my daughter Stacie. Stacie, I loved raising you. I needed you in that sea of testosterone we lived in. I will always be grateful to have you as my daughter. What I found difficult in raising the one daughter I had,was watching how mean girls are to each other. It breaks my heart to watch some of the dastardly things girls do and say about one another. Boys aren't perfect, but they seem to fight it out and then move on. Most times, they seem to accept the people in their lives for what they are and do not continue finding fault. So lets unite women. We should try to be nicer to our gender. Love them and accept them for who they are!

I must add a comment to Stacie's group of friends. You are loyal wonderful friends. I am glad she found you or you found her.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I don't wanna talk about it!

How often do you say those words...or think them? One of the biggest breakdowns in communication comes when denying yourself the priviledge of talking things out, or talking things through or talking all the way around and back. When something is bothering us, why do we refuse to talk about it? Sometimes it is painful. Sometimes it requires effort. Most times we just put up a guard and refuse to discuss.

If our goal in this life is to progress or improve, we must re-evaluate the "I don't wanna talk about it" issue. I believe strongly in the forces of good and evil. If we are not progressing forward,we are letting a negative behavior control us. Don't let that evil influence stop you from figuring out what you need to do to improve your life. Talk about it. Find someone you can safely talk to. Someone who will give you honest feedback. Do what you have to do to make yourself open to solving a problem. Stop thwarting your own progress by not talking!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Parenting Adult Children

I have had many friends ask me to write a parenting book on parenting adult children, since many of us have adult children living at home. It is difficult because as parents we want to parent our kids like we did when they were younger. The one thing I can tell you is there is no way you can parent your adult child like you did when they were teenagers. One very important thing to remember is that your child knows you. That statement means they know how you think, what you think. what your responses are and what your expectations are. You don't need to give them your opinion, unless they ask.

Many of our adult children are living at home I believe because life is more difficult than it was for us. Most are not just graduating from college in four years, but working towards master's degrees. Jobs are not plentiful. Housing is expensive. With the divorce rate so high, I think many are taking their time to commit to another person. What our adult children need from their parents is love, support and respect. They need to know you have confidence in them. You must remember that your child is an adult and when you give them that respect, they will in turn, respect you.